More Q&A with Nithyananda

Q: How can we surrender the ego, when this wanting to surrender is itself an expression of the ego?

Nithyananda: How are you going to surrender the ego, when it does not exist? Suppose you are sitting in a dark room. You want the darkness to disappear. But can you push it out? Can you fight darkness and force it to leave the room? No! No matter how long you keep trying, you are ultimately going to be defeated - and that too by something which does not exist!

The ego is like darkness, it has no positive existence. Just like darkness is simply the absence of light, the ego is nothing but the absence of awareness. To struggle to kill the ego is like struggling to push the darkness out of the room. To really expel the darkness, what you need to do is to forget all about dealing with the darkness. Focus your energy on Light instead. Just bring a small lamp into the room, and you will find that the darkness has fled on its own! So, I tell you to forget all about the ego. Instead, focus on bringing a lamp of awareness into your being. When your entire consciousness has become a flame, you will find that the ego is no more.

The ego is an illusion. You cannot surrender it when you are unaware - because you don't know how. Of course, you cannot surrender it when you become aware either - because then you realize that there is nothing left to surrender! What you have heard, read, been taught - 'Surrender the ego in order to attain Self-realization' - this is an utterly nonsensical idea. It can happen only the other way round. Self-realization dawns, and suddenly you cannot find the ego anymore. The surrender has aleady happened, just like that.

However, I am glad that the question has arisen in your being. The ego is the root cause for all your anxieties, sorrows, tensions. It is your doorway to hell. To actively feel that you want to drop the ego, to feel the the need to be rid of this burden is itself a step towards awareness. It shows that you are stirring from your sleep!



Q: Whenever I am in your presence all questions disappear and everything seems possible. But when I am away from you, all the familiar doubts creep in. Why does this happen and what can I do about it?

Nithyananda: If a question disappears on its own in my presence, then it is time to realize that it was not a true question at all; it was merely a play of the mind. When you are with me, the mind is no more in control - you simply flow into meditation. You become a loving, serene silence. In this state, only a question that is truly your question, one that is completely relevant to you, will still remain with you.

In my presence, you become so intensely aware, so completely present that there is no space for questions to arise. When you leave my presence, the mind is free to impose the past and the future upon your present - for what else are your questions but the play of the past and the future upon your present? Just like the ego, there is no point in fighting with or condemning the mind. It is a pointless struggle which you are sure to lose. Instead, it is enough to be aware that this is the very nature of the mind; it can be expected to behave in no other way. It is bound to bring in anxiety, confusion, doubt. Just to be conscious of this is enough.

Do not pass judgement on the mind - even to get angry with your mind is to lose your energy to it. As you witness the workings of the mind, you will slowly become aware that you are not the mind - you are more than the mind, you are the watcher. Once deprived of your energy, the mind cannot go on! In the place of the chaos of thoughts that you call your mind, a clear, intense consciousness will arise. At that moment, all questions dissolve and the mind is no more.

This is the experience you find yourself having in my presence. And what I have just told you is the way to make it stay with you always - even when you are not with me! It is a slow process - give it time. It will happen.



Q:You ask us not to suppress our natural passions. But is it right to indulge in these passions?

Nithyananda: On this path, you will time and again come across apparent dualities: good/bad, false/true, attachment/aversion, suppression/indulgence. In fact, raging inside your being is this constant conflict of opposites. Whenever a duality asserts itself, remember this thumbrule: Existence is nondual. Opposites do not exist. To cling to either suppression or indulgence is a sign of ignorance. After all, suppression is nothing but a reaction to indulgence. What is essential is the awareness of one’s own tendencies.

Recognize anger, recognize jealousy, recognize lust and greed. Neither give in to these emotions nor try to suppress them. Simply attempt to know them for what they are. Keep your distance, and view your emotions as if they were strangers. You will be surprised to find that without your support, they cannot exist, they simply drop away! This may not make much sense to you when it is just someone else’s experience - but through constant practice you will experience the truth for yourself. It is only this awareness that can awaken Self-knowledge, and free you of these concepts of all dualities!



Q: You say that skepticism is a big hindrance to learning. But you also urge us to voice our doubts. Why?

Nithyananda: You can raise questions due to either skepticism or doubt. But there is a world of difference between the two.

Skepticism is a state where one refuses to believe in anything at all. Just like that! The skeptic will raise arguments just for the sake of raising them. Skepticism itself is an unconscious belief; it is a foregone negative conclusion against anything and everything. The skeptic has no ideology of his own, he only has an argument against whatever idea you place before him. He will argue against an idea for hours, and if you present another idea that is just the opposite, he will argue against it equally emphatically! Actually, he has already settled into a permanent attitude of "no!" towards everything. Truly, skepticism marks the end of the journey for the learner, because with this attitude it is impossible to get anywhere. The skeptic has closed himself to all possibility of change.

Doubt, on the other hand, is a state of openness and receptivity. Doubt is an acceptance of "I don’t know, but I can learn." This marks the beginning of the learner's pilgrimage. Doubt is the path of the seeker. It simply seeks to eliminate all that is untrue in order to perceive the Truth. A man with a doubt listens with respect, not with defiance. He possesses the humility of the ignorant. His is the attitude of "yes!"; he is only waiting to experience so that he can trust.

When a person with a sharp intellect turns to skepticism, it is a dangerous sign - because it can be very ego-fulfilling to put down all ideas in an effective manner. But ultimately, the skeptic is only burning his own bridges. This is especially true of skepticism with a Master; if you adopt the attitude of skepticism, there is just no way the Master can get through to you. There is no point in going to a doctor just to question the value of every pill in his prescription, is there?

So ask your questions, by all means. Just watch the attitude with which you ask them!